I read two articles today, back to back, that gave me hope that we are moving in a progressive direction, then crushed my sense that humanity, as a whole, is even capable of empathy.
The first was about an Army Officer who came out today commemorating the end of the don't ask, don't tell policy. The 26 year veteran, Lt. Colonel says the biggest relief is that he will no longer have to deflect when asked questions as simple as, "What did you do this weekend?" It will, as he says, "take some getting used to." The eighteen year policy that codified the marginalizing of gays in the military, as of 12:01 today is history. We will look back on the policy and the general rule which preceded it and ask ourselves, what were we thinking? As the president said upon signing the repeal of DADT, "We are not a nation that says, 'don't ask, don't tell,' we are a nation that says, 'out of many, one.'" We have taken a stand on our national identity, our moral identity, and we are on the right side of history. The side that arcs toward Justice. Amen, hallelujah, and pass the biscuits.
Then, perusing Facebook, I found an article from Buffalonews.com. But before I get into that, please allow me to introduce to you, Jamey:
The first was about an Army Officer who came out today commemorating the end of the don't ask, don't tell policy. The 26 year veteran, Lt. Colonel says the biggest relief is that he will no longer have to deflect when asked questions as simple as, "What did you do this weekend?" It will, as he says, "take some getting used to." The eighteen year policy that codified the marginalizing of gays in the military, as of 12:01 today is history. We will look back on the policy and the general rule which preceded it and ask ourselves, what were we thinking? As the president said upon signing the repeal of DADT, "We are not a nation that says, 'don't ask, don't tell,' we are a nation that says, 'out of many, one.'" We have taken a stand on our national identity, our moral identity, and we are on the right side of history. The side that arcs toward Justice. Amen, hallelujah, and pass the biscuits.
Then, perusing Facebook, I found an article from Buffalonews.com. But before I get into that, please allow me to introduce to you, Jamey:
I didn't know Jamey. Were it not for the terrible tragedy that occurred on Sunday, I never would have read his name or shed a tear, grappling to understand his plight. Jamey was a gay teen, bullied from the fifth grade for being different, even before he could grasp the full complexity of his difference from other boys. I know nothing more about Jamey's emotional state than what was described in the article, troubled. I know nothing about Jamey's mental state. I know nothing about Jamey's relationships with others. Experience tells me that those who are closest tend to lionize the departed, but reading his mother's words and his friends' it seems like Jamey was really a nice person.
Bullying is so stupid. It's juvenile and petty, but its effects can be devastating, especially to a heart that is already troubled, already struggling with internal battles for identity. Jamey was fourteen when he apparently took his own life.
What factor the bullying was in Jamey's decision, we will never know. The fact is, it didn't help hm. He had his demons and the bullying fed those demons, or it was the worst of them, or it was one small fish in an ocean of pain. What is certain is that pain could have been avoided with empathy, compassion. Jamey would have had fewer demons to fight, or allies to help him. Allies to guide him towards acceptance and understanding. I grieve for the boy in a way as though he was my closest relative. Here's hoping his family finds some comfort. RIP, Jamey.
