At the Rally

A very busy day. Memorial service for a dear, dear friend, Fresno State football game, the grand reopening of Fresno's haven of art, history and science. They have an awesome exhibit on the natural history of birds. I encourage everyone to see it. Plus, in the middle of it all there was a nationwide Marriage Equality Rally, part of which took place right here in Fresno. My good friends, the Petersens, were very understanding when I left a little early the memorial service and arrived a little late at the reception for their father Chris. I had some protesting to do.

Hundreds from around the Valley gathered at the steps of City Hall, the fountain acting as stage, puppies and children chasing each other in the basin orchestra. We arrived a little late while a hoarse voiced lesbian made her case into a megaphone. Fresno's answer to Joe the Plumber, Matt the American, was still running around to set up the PA system. In all there were six speakers, including a seventh grader (awesome speech, Micah!) and two Unitarian ministers. We chanted, we cheered, we sang. Signs people carried ranged from clever to angry. Passions were high. During the "HO HO HO! Inequality has got to go!" chant I saw a woman that, to me, brought the full reality of this cause, what is really at stake.

She was in her late forties, maybe. A rail thin lesbian with stringy, black hair streaked with gray. Though she didn't look like much of a tussle, she was formidable. Her fists shook as she chanted. Her face was beet red, the tendons in her neck strained to hold together. She punched every "GO!" as though cold-cocking every individual voter, supporter of Proposition 8. Between her passion, her anger, her concern... in conjunction with the heartbreaking story of the PTC president who was kicked out of the club because her public stance on Prop. 8 was a "conflict of interest..." and the lady who kindly blocked me from the sun with her "Don't discrimin-8 against me" sign... the very reality, the personal assault and pain of these people finally hit home with me.

Until now, this controversy has been largely academic for me. It was logic vs. emotion. It was legislative process, rights preservation and tradition vs. due process, rights infringement and progress. In the abstract, this is a very cut and dry issue. In the abstract, those who don't support marriage equality are very silly, clinging desperately to their religion as if Adam and Steve were an assault on the very fabric of their souls. Don't get me wrong. I am fairly passionate about marriage equality and about the rights of everyone, really. Though the religious right and my new friend Ben may think that marriage is not a fundamental right, the facts, the stacks of legal precedent say it is; at least in this country. And in this country we do NOT take away fundamental rights from our citizens by a simple majority. And while Religion and Mayor Autry may claim proprietorship of marriage as foundational to civilization and answerable only to their definitions, I am compelled to declare bullshit. Every culture, in every part of the world can claim some form of marriage. Some of them, believe it or not, can even describe same-sex marriages. And all cultures with whatever concept of marriage have a commonality that has nothing to do with God and Jesus and sin. It is property. Marriage in every culture is about ownership, landrights, and in many cases the subjugation of women. It is only recent in our history that we have progressed beyond ownership to 'love, honor and cherish'. We have yet to have a clear separation, especially in the Christian church where marriage is defined by a male dominated hierarchy of a man as the head of his household, king of his castle and hero of his family. Just ask Kirk Cameron and the makers of Fireproof. Marriage will never be the ideal of a lifetime partnership until that hierarchy is forgotten and a great way to rid ourselves of the hierarchy is to be inclusive of marriage partners who are not a man and a woman.

Abstract. Rhetoric. Idealism. Powerless to move me into any real action. Reasons and justifications, no more. But watching this woman punch the air, watching the speakers overcome intense emotion to tell their stories had a profound effect. It is not enough to sit behind a computer and construct arguments, building Constitutional interpretations. It is not enough sit comfortably in a living room and discuss litigation and procedure and postulate when and if the Supreme Court will do the right thing and get involved.

It was hot yesterday and it didn't help much wearing a black shirt with the sun beating down on me. I was riveted and it took a moment to notice that the woman next to me was constantly adjusting her sign to give me shade. I smiled. She smiled. And there we were, two people trying to overcome the same heat from the same Sun. "Here is a person who wants nothing more than for the world to look at her the same way it looks at me," I thought. My marriage, sanctioned by the state and consecrated before God and Man is wholly uncontroversial, though sixty years ago it would not have been allowed. For the first time ever I was ashamed of my marriage. I was now a part of an exclusive club that, contrary to my wishes, won't let certain people in because their tennis partners don't have the right parts.

I too was angry. Under the auspices of not allowing marriage to be "redefined" the good people of California have done exactly that. We have redefined marriage, giving exclusive access to those who follow a particular set of rules and anyone outside our standard of moral rectitude is categorically and officially shit out of luck. I won't stand for it. Can't. I am very angry at the Fresno leaders who promoted this Jim Crow legislation. I want them to be held accountable for their lies and their fearmongering. I challenge them, Pastor Jim Franklin, Mayor Alan Autry, Rep. George Radanovich, et al to a public debate or series of one-on-one debates on this matter. Show me your list of arguments and I'll prove it's a list of untruths. Give me your reasons for protecting the status quo and I'll squash them all with Reason. I guarantee that when our impasse is reached, it is your superstition that blocks the way. Or ignorance. In any public place on any night I would really like to hear their answers to the tough questions this community has on this topic. I guarantee that each of these upstanding gentlemen have slapped the faces of those closest to them with their forked tongues spewing false righteousness. And no, Pastor Franklin, you do not have "recovered homosexuals" attending your church. At best you have people you've brainwashed into living a life that is untrue to who they really are. Congratulations.

I am sincere in my wish to engage these distinguished gentlemen in public discourse. Until they agree, I will continue writing and talking to anyone who is unwise enough to sit still for any length of time. Further protests? You bet. I'll be contacting the local leaders of the Marriage Equality movement to see what I can do. I hope to catch some of you out there as well. Dr. King wrote that, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." This injustice needs undoing and it will take all of us working together. You don't have to agree with same-sex marriage to support it. Questions?