Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow (pt. 2)

Click here to read Part One of this series before continuing with today's post:

Today (Still Standing in the Middle for Marriage)

Taking my seat on the lawn my hackles were already up as the Christian music, dripping with patriotism, blared from the PA system. The stage was plain with just a podium backdropped by ten American flags. Lee Greenwood belted about how much he loved this land while a twenty-something man warbled along with him. The event started with the familiar rituals: the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance. The audience, Pastor Franklin, everyone stood smug in self satisfaction. I couldn’t take it any more. I had to cross the street.
About thirty protesters stood in what was supposed to be a quiet display of love for ALL marriages. As the speakers from the podium pontificated about the American way and self governance, I noticed a priest-collared gentleman assailing a young gay man with Bible verses. Poor kid. So I walked over, engaged the conversation and slowly dragged it away from main group. It seems this gentleman, whose essay against marriage equality I have in my back pocket, had been harassing these folks for some time. I was glad to take my lumps from this guy and his crony who kept rapping my shoulder to punctuate his arguments. Three Fresno PD on bicycles inched closer to us as we removed ourselves from the crowd, but nothing was going to happen.
The protesters mobilized. A small group of them secured an open space across the street and began chanting. When ex-Mayor Autry got to the podium they shouted, “Shame on you! Shame on you!” My conversation was spinning into wild tangents and I really wanted to be with them, but the priest-man had already said that he would to get his bullhorn so he could shout back at them. I couldn’t let him do that. So I asked him and his sidekick a question. “Do you believe in the Second Amendment?” A resounding yes. “If the Second Amendment were repealed tomorrow and the government sent agents to the homes of gun owners, to collect their guns... what would be the reaction?” Blank. I would expect that there would be more than one scary stand off across the the country. Gun owners would not easily let go of what they perceive as their fundamental rights. That's what happens when you oppress. People get angry and they get loud.
The speeches ended and the opposing crowds herded themselves to opposing curbs. I have to admit a little nervousness as the two factions faced off like the start of a Middle Earth battle. A kid with a bullhorn shouted, “Bigot! Bigot! How does it feel to be a bigot, Bigot?!” In response, a forty-something man with his daughter on his shoulders shouted back that the kid was in fact the bigot and said to the man next to him (which happened to be me), “I’m ready to go to jail right now to shut this fucking kid up.” With his daughter on his shoulders. Meanwhile a motorcycle gang brought their hawgs to the pitch between the factions and revved their engines, drowning out the bullhorn and looking menacingly at our side of the street. This was met with uproarious applause and the man with the kid on his shoulders said, “Yeah! Yeah! What now, faggot?” With his daughter on his shoulders.

I noted that the police had yet to mobilize so, a little sickened, I decided to walk to another part of the crowd. I joined a prayer circle asking, “Do you have room for an atheist here?” They said yes and I grabbed hands with a young gay man on my right and a lesbian, about my age, on my left. We sang the protest songs that were sung in Alabama in the sixties. I, for one, believe them. We will overcome some day. We’ll win Fresno town, someday. The motorcycle gang found it in their hearts to accompany us with their loud engines, but I don’t think many people heard us after that. We were ushered onto the sidewalk as the police now wanted to re-open the street. More engine revving and more cheers from the orc army across the street.

It was then that I noticed Bill. Bill is a gentleman from Bakersfield who was a staunch supporter of Prop. 8. He had come to Fresno on Tuesday (judgment day) because he wanted to understand what the "fuss was about," his words. As we talked, then, I told him that my goal could never be to change his mind. That’s a job he has to do himself. Rather, all I can do is help him mitigate his fears and recognize the propaganda against marriage equality for what it is. To his credit, Bill was very receptive and said he would return Saturday and also Sunday. Bill was as good as his word and though I didn’t see him Saturday, it was nice to catch him standing between three people getting schooled on Sunday. Actually they were quite kind, but something happened I didn’t expect that again gave me a very personal sense of this issue.

A lady who I barely know was part of the discussion. Her husband, with whom she has children, is serving in the military overseas. During the conversation she began to shake and was getting agitated, but not really angry. I don’t know if she planned this, but all of the sudden she came out to Bill and me. She said that she was not a heterosexual, but she’d been railroaded into this marriage twenty years ago because of everything that she had learned in her church. That her feelings for women would pass. That it was the Devil tempting her. That if she kept it up she would go to Hell. Today she is so enmeshed, has so much invested, with her marriage that she couldn’t conceive of a way out of it. My knees buckled hearing her speak. It was too much for Bill to take. At the end of it she made the greatest outreach ever. She asked, nearly begged, for Bill to engage in a thought experiment. She asked him to imagine having to raise his grandchildren, for whatever reason, and doing everything he can to ensure they have strong morals and are good people. Then imagine that they one day come to him and say, “Papa, I am gay and I am in love with this person and I want to spend my life with him.” What would you do, Bill? What would any of us do? I wrote down the name of a movie, For the Bible Tells Me So, for Bill and asked him to email me when he's seen it. I reminded him that he admitted to me that he didn't know any gay people and that his perceptions of this issue come from his morals, via the church. It's an abstract. And admittedly in the abstract, it is easy to be uncomfortable and closed. But when the reality comes home and it sits in front of you, your own flesh and blood, it takes a hard hearted person to stay closed minded.

The opposition is aware, that this fight is not over. They are preparing for their next move and the next one after that. We have not yet decided when to put our own ballot initiative into effect, or whether to support a Supreme Court filing. We have some organiztion to do. But our resolve is strong.