Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow (pt. 3)

I could never be a decent journalist. I cannot keep deadlines, even my own. Please click here, if you would like to read part one of this series. Click HERE for part two.

Tomorrow: Bigotry and Fear is Always the Same

There is a line from Mrs. Lovejoy (The Simpsons) that comes to mind whenever I hear the rhetoric about what we may teach in schools or what sinister books we may expose our children to should marriage equality come to pass. In her frightened, shaky voice and with clenched fists at her mouth, she shrieks, “Won’t somebody please think of the children?!” I’ve previously argued that any concerns over the children, with regards to marriage equality, are unfounded and based mostly on parents’ unwillingness or inability to have frank, honest, even painful discussions with them. I stand by that, but I also concede that parents may be trying their best to do what’s right for their kids. Unfortunately, Daddy doesn’t always know best. Sometimes, Daddy puts his trust in people who don’t really have his best interests at heart, or if they do they are woefully mistaken as to what those interests may be. On Sunday I saw a t-shirt with the handwritten slogan, “I support my pasters [sic],” which begs the question: in the face of what? Some had a ready answer, as the 49 year old RevFest attendee who weighed his vote between his daughter who is lesbian and asked him to vote no and his pastor. He voted yes and said he would again. In the end he, “had to go with [his] pastor.”

It is astounding, truly astounding to witness the obduracy with which folks cling to their religion. It’s as if changing their minds on this one thing will bring the Church crashing to the ground. I asked the priest-man if it was at all possible that the six or seven Bible verses that talk about homosexual behaviors are talking about explicit acts that are meant to degrade another person and not an immutable lifestyle. Paul, as it were, invented a word that literally translates, “abusers of men,” and only has “gay” implications because we’ve decided as much. I got a look that instantly told me I had uttered the single stupidest remark in the history of language. “No, you’re talking about ‘translation’ and translation is never precise.” So what gives your translation authority over mine, as there are errors in any translation? “God gives us righteous men to help us understand what He means.” Call me kooky, but I think you just disproved your own point.

“Obdurate clinging” is specific to religion and not spirituality. There are many people of faith, and I am incredibly lucky to know some, who understand better (I think) the message of love that Jesus brought. Hardly one of these Christians would consider themselves “religious,” in that they subscribe to and adhere to a narrowly defined dogma. Many of these people support marriage equality and represent our only link to a constructive conversation with the more religious folk.

The great misconception about bigotry is that is fueled by hate. I imagine that a great deal of it may be, but for the most part it is ignorance. For the obdurate clingers it is an inability or unwillingness to critically challenge their beliefs. They fail to understand that challenging their beliefs is not so much a matter of discarding them, but refining them into a structure that fits reality. No one is an authority on “reality,” so even pastors who may have their best intentions in mind are susceptible to getting it wrong. On the subjects of sexuality and marriage, some pastors, like Franklin, do have it wrong. They’ve failed to account for newer, better understandings of sexual development. They’ve failed to understand world cultures and history on what defines marriage. Most of all, they’ve failed to understand the principles that founded this country and the case law that supports those principles.

Fear drives bigotry. Fear of what is different. Fear of what they don’t understand. Fear that they themselves or their progeny might be susceptible to the very urges they revile. Fear causes them to wrap themselves in the comfort of their dogma and reject new information. Yoda said it best. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

I sincerely hope that at least one reader who opposes marriage equality reads this and engages the conversation. I may be wrong, but if so, tell me how. Let’s explore the roots of your obdurate clinging. I cannot change your mind. I don’t want to change your mind. I only want you to think and beyond that feel. Somewhere between 5% and 10% of Californians are second-class citizens and we, the electorate are to blame. The least we can do is try to look back without prejudice and see if we did the right thing. I submit that when we do, enough of us will have a change of heart to embrace progress and fix what we broke.